It has been an emotional week...

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Today is thursday...

this has gotta be one of the most madramang weeks ever...

i cried 3 times...

one, in the arms of my very very good friend ate darryl (thanks talga ha? mwah!)

second, was all by myself... while filling my lungs with nicotine and caffeine...

lastly, was in front of my dad, and the whole family...

not everybody knows my relationship with my parents...

i don't come from a broken family

they're definitely not bad parents...

it's just that i never really felt that they were there for me...

i think the worst thing that can a son see is not his parents separating...

the worst feeling in the world would be knowing that they exist
and they are there
but

you don't feel that they know you even exist. you just play a role and they are just playing their role... just that... no fulfilling purpose

a love that is empty...
a love that shouldn't exist

that is ladies and gentlemen is the biggest pain i have felt...

from the moment i learned how to think and react to what I perceive...

I never cried in front of them.. but i couldn't help it... tears fell out like how words come to me...

it was a good feeling...

i felt my tears' echoes made through them...

i felt heard

i felt alive...

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BTW,
LA lost

Happy birthday 2pac AMARU SHAKUR 6/16/04

Ill C U in heaven


and wait before i end this post... let's just say.. all those emotional crap... and kabaklaan melted yesterday....

she hugged me back...

renee hugged me back...

all the pain, wounds healed...
i felt like i could die while savoring the feeling...
she felt so good in my arms...

i think im falling really deep...

deeper

and deeper