bratty traveler

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I want to travel to Europe.

Everytime I meet passengers at my work and they say they just came from Heathrow Airport(that's in London). I always tell them that I will be going there someday. (Not only the airport! ;p) Even before I left for the U.S. I wanted to go to europe. I really do. Yes, i really wanna go. It's part of my sweet list of goals I want to achieve before I die!

Climb the eiffel tower, get lost at the Louvre, smile back at the mona lisa, munch on real swiss cheese, explore vatican city, say hello to big ben, mingle around the coliseum, drive a european car (preferrably ferrari), eat real italian spaghetti, buy cheap factory-priced prada shoes (real ones a! hehe ;P), ride a gondola at venice, etc.

haaay, my date with europe will come soon. I will do whatever it takes!

I haven't been to any place outside this country for almost 2 years and I want to just get out of here. I might not even go back to P.I. this christmas cuz of school. Grrr...

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My thirst for a more profound knowledge to fuel my spiritual journey is my obssession today. Because I find myself wandering through the forest beside the path I am marching to. I am longing to find a deeper point of view to look at the general and specific aspects of my life. So that I will not miss any opportunities that I may encounter. I need to focus and discord my mind into filling my being with unhealthy thoughts of the past and the future. I need to live my life now as it is.

my reaction on reading the first chapter in the book, POWER of Now by Echart Tolle

reality (tv) bites

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bradford... you have to be one of the most stupid characters in reality tv ever! Apprentice gets better and better with people like you.. hahaha....

lesson: being too cocky can get you get fired...


to mark cuban (the owner dallas mavericks): YOU ARE PATHETIC! YOU DESERVE TO BE HUNG! PLEASE CANCEL YOUR SHOW! MAY YOU LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES, THAT TRYING-HARD PEOPLE LIKE YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO LIVE! MAN! YOU MAKE ME SICK!


buti nalang may isang news that i am happy about... amazing race reaches the Philippines... astig man! nakakamiss tuloy magjeep (dyip) nung inaayos nila :) halos araw araw i rode the jeep for four years to school...aba proud ako jan... rode the bus too... mga ibang tao nga can't believe na sumasabit ako sa jeepney kahit baha sa taft... haha... sugod kahit 10pm... jeep pa rin... ang mura mura e... hay nako back to the topic ang layo ko na. ill write a diff post for that hehe... next week last episode na.. yey!!! sa palawan... hehe... it's gonna be crazy! can't wait



song for the moment: My Boo by Usher and Alicia Keys

There's always that one person
That will always have your heart
You'll never see it coming
Cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby ooh you'll always be my boo


that's it im out!

I feel neruda-ish...

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"Tonight I Can Write"
By Pablo Neruda

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.

I am weird.

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We had this activity in lit class to read a stanza of a poem, and we needed to write down what we saw when we read it.


I was going under.
I could not breathe.
My limbs felt like lead, too heavy to lift.
And my neck was too weak to support the weight of my head.
Around me I saw nothing, only darkness.


I wrote down.


It's like the first day of being broken hearted. The feeling of someone you truly care about is not anymore in the vivid picture that you see your life is going to be with. In the picture, the person dissolved into a shadow. You can't take it anymore. No matter how hard you try, you can't keep your head up. You're too emotional. It's hard. It's so quiet. Its sad. It's your life and it sucks.

I didn't know everybody in class was going to read what I wrote.. nahiya tuloy ako... mostly they wrote about a person drowning.. buti nalang mga 10 lang ata kami sa lit class na yun... whew! that was embarassing... half of them told the teacher that they liked what I wrote very abstract daw! Aba cguro nga i can compare my life to an abstract painting kc magulo pero hayun nga.. kahit na puro struggles and even if my mind is really distorted at malabo kung minsan... i consider it as an abstract painting.. wherein kahit na ganun... if you dwell and look at it long enough and try to understand it... you will see the beauty of life come alive... nax! hahaha.. wala lang.. I am truly WeIrd!

so I was bored with my english prof talking so.. I scribbled some words inside my mind dahil sa bwisit na reaction na yan... walang pang title e...kaya read on nalang...


I feel like dragging my toes
into the sand of a deserted path,

while gazing at the fingerprints imprinted
on the leaves that I held on to.

I smell the carpet of flames
that the dark shadows used to torture me
right b4 I go to sleep

and
hear the candid tears tracing
d
___o
______w
________n
from the hearts
of the women who offered their love to me.

I sense danger, fear, and excitement.

I think it's time for me

to m o v e on.

that's some crazy weekend hehe

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wlang plans for the weekend... tapos biglang kung saan saan nakarating wehehe... camera tripping pa... tambay and all the works..
a friend of my friend came from l.a. (1st time lang niyang pumunta sa sf) so we took her out clubbing last saturday night and went around frisco sunday afternoon til nyt just before her flight back to
lala-land.

so we went to twin peaks.. first time ko rin makapunta dto... ganda man... sa taas ng frisco.. napakaganda ng view at sobrang lakas ng hangin


rose,me and aisle

tapos went union square and to the ghirardelli chocolate festival... syempre kain ng freebie chocolates.. then went to sausalito... it was pretty cool.. cozy and relax na place.. pro tinatamad na kami so tambay na lang sa bahay ni rose...and taking pictures.. kung saan saan...


aisle and I sa room ni rose

feeling a&f models sa sausalito! :p

so yun...
that's one crazy weekend that went right... kakapagod... wehehhe... pero worth it naman...

a year older and still kicking it

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so my birthday was yesterday... i don't wanna post pagbday ewan ko kung bakit...parang its a day of silence for me... hehe...

so now that I am 22 im gonna change my self description sa right... check it out...
eto ilalagay ko wehehe...

22 year old aspiring underwear model. a trying hard macho dancer. sports lover. bball freak. golfer kaso sobrang bano haha. passionate about love. wannabe poet. driven. role model (pagtulog). dominant. down-to-earth. kuripot. proud pinoy. barok na kapampangan. deep writer when in the mood. mababaw namn kya madaling patawanin! wishing to become the Donald Trump of Philippines. wants his own billboard at edsa. feeling heartthrob :p. parating nakatingin sa mirror. ladies man DAW! family-oriented. loved by many. alcoholic (2 some certain extent) haha. has a tabachoy past. loves to eat food. dnt bug if hungry. loves to cook din (pag nde tamad). couch potato. pokpok ay oc-oc pala hehe (pag inatake). makulit sometimes lng. evil brat. music lover. 2pac convert. obsessed with neruda. daydreamer. likes reading interesting books. shy sa una pro ubod ng daldal pagtumagal.

hayun so last sept 6 i watched "Wicker Park"

with sila bayi! it was a pretty good psycho/stalker movie... not bad... not to mention the excessively hot chick from "troy" was there... fiery... hot... ay teka lang... before nga pala nung movie... kinantahan muna ako ng buong movie house ng happy birthday.. syet... there was a moment there...haha..may pagkabakla rin kasi yung girl bestfriend ni ate marc e haha talo ako kasi inaasar ko... pero astig... meron kasing guy na may dalang food tray na magsasalita bago yung movie... galing nga e... ganun talga sa metreon.. may pagkaweird nga lang pro epektib ang kanyang speech kc napapabili ang mga tao... so hayun sinabi ni ate sherika ba naman in retaliation sa pangasar ko dun sa lalakeng yun pagkabili niya ng popcorn.. eh nabroadcast tuloy na bday ko at pinakanta niya lahat ng tao dun.. hahaha... astig wala lang... nashy ako e...

hayun nga so pinanood namin siya... i like the way josh dresses himself up...magaya nga... idol!... the movie was cool in terms of the camera tricks.. but story wise... it was so-so kasi in the age communication technology nowadays... i cant believe na ganun ka exag na nde sila mgkikita at nde makapagusap ng ganung katagal... at bakit nde nila gamitin yung cellphone nila... oa naman no pls lang.. although i liked the part yung huli... sa airport... mushy moment dba? sabay song ng coldplay... watch it nalang kaya noh!

nung sept 7 naman... i called in sick... tinatamad ako pumasok sa work kaya walang pakelamanan... ang highlight ng araw ko... getting my 5 year old boxers back.. it's really disgusting hahaha... asar kasi lahat ng kapamilya ko dun kaya mej may sentimental value... iniwan ko yung sa unc louie kc before gusto niyang sunugin kasi sobrang luma na hehe... wt can i say? i like clinging to my old clothes... you should see my oldest t-shirt (the first t-shirt i bought with my own money) butas butas na pero sinusuot ko parin hhehehe....

today namn.. puro b.s. pagdating sa class... kasinungalingan! kasi i was supposed to get an article for my business class about social responsibility na napost sa diyaryo... it slipped out of my mind.. kc nga labor day weekend and birthday ko... my seatmate saved me.. kc we needed to discuss it sa class.. she helped me by giving me a topic.. and me putting a lot of b.s. with it saying it in class... hehe.. fun tapos yung lit class ko... dinaan ko nalang sa humor cuz we needed to bring a picture... nagdrawing nalang ng NAPAKAPANGET na sponge... heehehe... it's really ugly.. cuz im not an artist... psensiya na.. tao lang... :p ... gumawa nalang ako ng storya aba e tumawa naman sila at mukhang benta sa teacher... haha... walang kwentang student talga ako hahah...

by the way, happy birthday nga pala kay mama mary!

o cge im out!

thanks for all the greeting i really appreciate it! ingatz!

PiNoY PriDe!

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Noun 1. roots - the condition of belonging to a particular place or group by virtue of social or ethnic or cultural lineage

I just had one of those intelligent conversations with a *qt friend (newfound yosi partner hehe) of mine about this guy who doesn't like people who are diehard pinoys living here in cali.

He can probably blab constantly for 24 hours without knowing that you have not spoken a single word. He is truly a classic! He is one of those people you wished you had a giant stapler and use it to close his mouth just to keep his mouth shut. I admire his courage to voice out so many of his so-called sophisticated opinions; however, what made me furious is the way he looks down on Filipinos who have the decency to recognize where they truly come from, and acknowledge their own roots.

I mean you are in America man, but that does not make you different of what you truly are pare. Even if you become an American citizen, change your name, dye your hair, do some crazy ritual, or whatever, you are a Filipino. It is as simple as that. People like you are the ones who should be looked down at and be embarrassed about themselves.

I will not mention his name since I don’t want to be too harsh cursing this dude out of my evil reaction to one of his “well-thought” opinion.
*In fairness, he is okay naman when he does not say that much.
PIECE OF ADVICE lang nga:
it’s okay to Shut up! once in a while and rest your machine gun mouth

*-gay expression na nde na natanggal sa vocab ko ever since i left pinas.

MORAL: mga pareeeeeh at mareeeeehh ko
You have a choice, either to recognize your roots or not to, one thing is for sure if you want to look stupid you will always have that other choice. Roots, or what you call your cultural origins, will surely make you stand out from the rest believe me.(When I have a passenger who tells bad things about staying in the Philippines, I wage an endless debate that Philippines is still one of the best countries in Asia) Besides, I love being a Filipino…
Especially being a KAPAMPANGAN hehe…

mga muret! mangan ta na… nasi at adobong babi.. mwahaha… balamu bisa kung magkapampangan… ali naman masyado… ditak lang..

(mga crazy people, kain tayo… rice and adobong baboy… mwahhahaha… akala mo naman marunong magkapampangan… nde naman masyado… kaunti lang…)

hehehe… and the rest of my kapampangan vocab are explicit, and oo nga pala I can also sing some parts of “ATI KU PUNG SINGSING” cuz that’s what my mom used to irritate us with inside the car… hehhe… memories…

see… if I don’t recognize those little memories that are priceless, I wouldn’t understand half the man I am today…

(wow shet deep… nalunod ata ako… saklolo…. saklolo)

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oh iyan naconscious na naman ako (shy ako in person tanong nyo pa ang mga taong may kilala sa akin ng matagal na).. o dba… so continue tayo sa the most exciting part of my entry… yung annoying incidents…


ay teka lang… by the way, naaccept ko na rin yung kay renee… na… in love pa siya sa x niya.. i was sorta expecting it na rin na ganun…. tutal hassle rin ang rebound relationship kahit na nde niya inaamin na nde pa siya over siya kanyang x na iniwan siya… kawawa naman… ipagdasal nalang natin siya… bahala na si Lord!


oh well… hayun na nga ang kaisaisang annoying incident that will surely make yours and my day
(hahahahaha)

1) going to manila oriental market and knowing that you will smell like “isda”…. pero sulit namn kasi masarap naman pag kinakain ko na yung tilapia. ang baho baho talga dun i swear. para kang nasa palengke pero class at sosyal (nyay! meron bang ganun hahhaha)

MSG sa kamag anak kong nagbabasa ng blog.. kilala niyo kung sino kayo:p…: hindi ako bagong model ng silverworks at pinaglalaruan ko lang ang bagong digi camera ng family nun kaya naisip ko lang i-picture ang aking sarili…haha… meron nga akong inayos e… kasi yung background halatang sa kwarto ko lang… hehe.. eto check this out!
pinaglaruan ko yung adobe nung isang araw kaya pasenyahan nalang hehe gusto kong ipost e!




with bespren bayi

syempre... westside... 2pac twins yan!


(by the way, hoy gian isusumbong kita sa lola ko at sa mom mo pagpinrint mo itong mga pinagsusulat ko dto at dinala mo sa st. francis… hahaha.. hala ka… papaluin ka nun)

gusto ko lang bumati sa mga kadugo ko na nasa l.a. ngayon na nde ko lam na nagbabasa pala nitong blog ko… hi to Ate Deanna, Uncle Gilbert, Kuya Jay, Kuya Joey, Kuya dodgie, Dindo (da best club partner –parating hot chix ang mga nakakasayaw naming bwahahahah-), Gian (kelan tayo gigimik tatlo?), sino pa ba? nde ko naman alam yung iba.. magleave kasi kayo ng msg.. ang korny korny nyo naman e! o cge im out!