---

Silence.

I can’t breathe
feeling stucked up, squeezed by four walls.

dark, damp, dangerous

just like standing inside an elevator
speeding like a bullet from a gun pointed downwards to the soil of the earth...

;silent death.

john mayer’s words not penetrating.

stay still
shut up
can’t take it anymore
leave me alone.

You can’t reach me i’m too far from you now.
Sleeping is not an escape.

now a lonely
tortured soul.

p a i n.

STOP!

numb.
empty.
death.
...
…
…

and all i can hear is silence.

fuck love. its not worth it.

still…

me = bitter fucked up individual looking for love wherever I may find it and whom I can share with.. (a sucker for love i suppose)

I’ll take whatever chances..
come hell or high waters..
i’ll do anything.

I wanna live
come with me.

breathe,
wake me up
from this slumber of silence.

grab my eardrums...
let me hear you sing..

---

to add more drama this week...
friends will air their second to the last episode tonight... huhuhuhuhu :,(

next week.. last na.. shet... nakakaiyak naman!!! tangina!

neway... tama nga yung friend ko about friends (hahha!! sounds stupid!)...
you watch them cuz you can relate...

well, here's what I analyzed about myself

I got 75% -Ross
15% -Schandler
10%- Joey


Si ross because of his facial reactions kasi super corny niya rin... i thought kay ross lang ako nakakarelate... kc super nerdy at funny at hopeless romantic din siya... nde pala... hahaha!!!

Schandler because of his gayness.. pagkabading hahaha!!! and a lil kabaduyan... for example: schanberries yung thanksgiving hahaha!!!

Joey dahil sa katangahan niya... hahha.. i swear sometimes... dumbfounded ako at ignorant sa nangyayari sa paligid ko kaya pagkatanga ako hahhaa!!

there you go... ill miss f.r.i.e.n.d.s. that's for sure...



how well can you relate to the character of friends?

The Good and the Bad news

---

This week has been an emotional one.. even if it hasn't been finished yet...
pure drama that still makes me wanna cry til now....

Let's start with the good one...

I got an email yesterday from University Of San Francisco... a Jesuit University in the heart of San Francisco... The campus is simply beautiful and the prestige of studying there is priceless...

From : Charles Skinner
Sent : Tuesday, April 27, 2004 6:49 PM
To : bart_tanjuakio@hotmail.com
Subject : ADMISSION, USF, FALL 2004

| | | Inbox




Hello Bart,

I am happy to tell you that your application has been approved for your entrance into the University of San Francisco (McLaren School of Business), beginning with the Fall 2004 semester.

This acceptance is contingent upon satisfactory completion of your current courses.

Your official admission packet will be mailed to you shortly. We look forward to your joining us and meanwhile, of course, we welcome any questions you may have.

Charles Skinner

University Evaluation Supervisor &
Transfer Admission Counselor
University of San Francisco
skinner@usfca.edu
fax: (415) 422 2217

My application has been admitted by the ATENEO of San Francisco.. that is sweet...

and for the other side of my news... a person close to my heart just left... actually we needed this... some closure... I guess I am looking down at the cement again... feeling like a big loser in the game of love... well... well...
I just took a chance again... kasi when ate maricar (ate of bayi), ondeng (gf of bayi) and I were discussing about love.. they told me that pag siya na... alam mo na yun... basta... alam mo na yun... mararamadaman mo...

when i tried to try again and asked ... i guess nde pala siya yun... at ako lang pala ang nakakaramdam ng ganun... ako lang pala... at nde siya...

there's a saying that "the show must go on..." well eto na yun... parati ko ginagamit itong poem na ito.. kasi ganito ako magmahal... from saint neruda... read on

If You Forget Me
Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.



I'm going out with people now... trying to make new friends... open for any opportunity that love will once again lie on the shores of my life...

Sylvia Path Effect... dang!

---

I was just doing my blog rounds... and I came upon rinka's post... and it gave me the creeps after reading it...

Do Poets Die Young?

Thu Apr 22,10:12 AM ET Add Health - Reuters to My Yahoo!


By Maggie Fox, Health and Science Correspondent

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Poets die young -- younger than novelists, playwrights and other writers, a U.S. researcher says.


It could be because poets are tortured and prone to self-destruction, or it could be that poets become famous young, so their early deaths are noticed, said James Kaufman of the Learning Research Institute at California State University at San Bernardino.


For the report, published in the Journal of Death Studies, Kaufman studied 1,987 dead writers from various centuries from the United States, China, Turkey and Eastern Europe. He classified the writers as fiction writers, poets, playwrights, and nonfiction writers. He did not study the causes of death.


"Among American, Chinese and Turkish writers, poets died significantly younger than nonfiction writers," Kaufman wrote in the report. "Among the entire sample, poets died younger than both fiction writers and nonfiction writers."


Because Kaufman studied some writers who lived hundreds of years ago, it is impossible to compare their average age of death to that of the general population.


"On average, poets lived 62 years, playwrights 63 years, novelists 66 years and nonfiction writers lived 68 years," Kaufman said in an interview conducted by e-mail.


Kaufman has also studied poets and mental illness.


"What I found was pretty consistent with the death finding actually, female poets were much more likely to suffer from mental illness (e.g., be hospitalized, commit suicide, attempt suicide) than any other kind of writer and more likely than other eminent women," he said.


"I've dubbed this the 'Sylvia Plath Effect."'


Sylvia Plath was a poet and novelist who killed herself in 1963 at the age of 30.


There could also be a more benign explanation for poets' early demise, Kaufman said. "Poets produce twice as much of their lifetime output in their twenties as novelists do," he said.


So when a budding novelist dies young, few people may notice.


"A great novelist or nonfiction writer who dies at 28 may not have yet produced her or his magnum opus."


Kaufman said poets should not worry, but should perhaps look after their health.


"The fact that a Sylvia Plath ... may die young does not necessarily mean an Introduction to Poetry class should carry a warning that poems may be hazardous to one's health," he said.


- http://story.news.yahoo.com/news

rinka posted...
my take on this is, is that poets are hypersensitive.
and it gets overwhelming.
and the overload of emotional stimulus gets too loud.
and nothing is able to shut the noise out.
and it's the kind of loud that echoes through you.
the way a drum's base seems to alter your heartbeat when it's up too high.
and you're groping, feeling the wall, trying to find a crack that feels like a probable opening.
wanting to run out.
run away.
leave the deafening chamber of pain.
and you can't feel a door.
no way out.
and all that's left to do.
is die.
it doesn't have to mean physical suicide. a soul death more like it.
the beauty of feeling, the beauty of emotion too costly. so you shut the world out.
you deafen yourself.
and it's still loud, but you can't hear anymore.
sadly, along with the noise you shut out,
you shut out the gentle whispers of the promise of hope.

grabe... deep noh... after reading this i needed to catch my breath.. kasi whoa man! nyak! ang pangarap kong maging poet ay nakakatakot pala syet.. hehehe...

super weekend!

---

My weekeend was fun.

Saturday: Isa na akong coaster master! I went to marine world..(tnatamad na ako magpost ng pix puro pix nalang!) I liked the rollercoaster rides of marine world better because it's newer and more complex than the rides at great america. I guess it is also better to go there if you have kids with you because you can go into two separate groups. One to ride the roller coasters and one to see the marine world shows. I did not watch the shows... but the roller coasters were the best! Ganda man! Medusa was tight... Zonga was okay.. roar was ayt... velocity is highly recommended... My favorite was the KONG... Ang dami pa pero yun yung mga dabest coasters in the park... I went with my cousins... Feeling ko nga ang itim ko na e! Anyway, kakapagod... and I wouldn't go if nde binayaran ni itay.. buti nalang man! I kept playing with the kidsh! ang dami nila... haaaay.... cguro if I start a family... I want lots of lots of kids... They were begging me to play with them.... kung minsan sa una akala mo tahimik pero pagsinimulan mo na sila... ikaw na ang nde titigilan... isa lang ang topic of conversation namin... SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS... I genuinely love this him! hehehe.. oh well.. we were there till closing... masaya.. after that we went to wendy's.. hay pagdating ko sa bahay dapat pupunta ako kila bayi kc andun si ondeng yung gf niya ldr sila... nakakainggit nga e... 2 years na sila.. neway sabi ko 2m nalang kc pagod na pagod na ako...

SUNDAY: I was supposed to play basket in the morning nde ako gumising e. When I woke up nga I felt my head going around parin because of all the roller coasters I rode the previous day.. ayos lang... steady after mga 10 minutes of staying still I was ready to drive again. Anyway, I went to Bayi's house and we went to Antioch,, na magic sing pa nga ako e... "Dahil mahal na mahal kita" by Roselle Nava. O dba reminiscing ng KAJOLOGAN days ko watching pinoy blockbuster channel na cinema one today. hahah... hayun i scored lang name ehem 100... tapos... hayun na joy ride kami ni "qtie" ate marc, ondeng bayi's gal and mah best pren hir in cali "bayiboy!". Syempre bonding kami o dba? We went to Antioch... which was really far... we went to ondeng's sister... okay naman "in n out" kami tapos target... aba nasulit na naman ang aking dishcount! odba? cuz of mervyn's... I get 10% there cuz target owns the company i work for... not bad huh?.. ano pa kasi hayun bonding bonding lang... saya... that was a good weekend for me... and naguilty ako kc sandali lang ako sa bahay.. uuwi lang ako pra matulog odba hehhee... syempre nakwento na sakin ang 2 hour long story nila ondeng at bayi... mahaba talga grabe.. lab square ata yun kung mey ganun.. hayun im just glad sila nagkatuluyan kasi cute couple sila... hehe... BAGAY bestfriend! Sulit ang hardships at paghihirap mo... magaral ka na lang nga yun lang ang kulang! so tapos nun umuwi nako... haaay... im tired of typing cuz I am really slifee na...

cge ill end this post wid a funny msg I got from my hotmail. I picked lang my fave ones sa mga sablay hirit...
1)Well well well. Look do we have here!
2)"Are you joking my leg?"
3)"It's not my problem anymore, it's your problem anymore."
4)"What are friends are for?"
5) "One of these days is not like the other."
6)What's your next class before this? (ANO DAW???!!!)
7)Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like to wait?
8)Hello McDo? Mag-i-inquire lang ako kung magkano ang kidney meal? (yung pang-batang pagkain)
9)You!!! You're not a boy anymore! You're a a man anymore! (hmmm...sounds familiar)
10)Come, lets join us!
and last....
11) I'm the world champion of the World!!!

hahaha... have a blessed week to all of you guys! peace.

---

042204

It’s so quiet, my child.
I wish it would just stay this way.

I see you sitting alone this blissful afternoon,
miserably slouching with your chin resting on the top of your arm.

You look so troubled,
your eyes staring down at the brown wooden table.

You look so scared child.
I can see the pain in your e y e s.
Are you concerned about your future?

Time is ticking fast…
tick. tock. tick. tock.
your
hand-me-down
Seiko-looking
Rolex from your loving father
reminds you that every second is passing.

I swear,
sometimes I can feel what you have been feeling
for more than a year now.
You know the way a fresh high school graduate feels.

I really want to know what university I will eventually be accepted to, and how long will I still study?

By the way, I heard a song before that goes
“... children get older... I’m getting older too.. well I'm getting older too”

People your age are done with college.
Some of them are looking for jobs,
and some of them are planting seeds for their career.

And you… you don’t even have a clue, on how long your college life will be.

You damn know well what I am talking about.

The only time you will be able to know is when you talk to a counselor in the university that will accept you,
and what’s worse is you do not know if they will credit the units you took in the Philippines.

Isn’t that sweet?

Little Boy you look like I shook you up... Are you alright?

I guess you are probably feeling better than you look like.
You have won so many battles and in the process lost a lot too.

You better be ready for this one kid.

Just be prepared.
I know you can do it.
Things will fall into place soon.
Just wait and see.

Its so peaceful today.
I could hear the birds chirping outside the window,
and see fragments of sunlight discreetly touching your face.
Can you see and feel it?

The sun is going down now,
later a blanket of darkness will emerge,
and icy winds will occupy our quiet surroundings.

When you see the first traces of light
touching the mountains tomorrow

Just smile

because that means
another day has come for you
to redirect your life

-a chance to once again work for your goals and live your dreams.-

P.S. Keep your head up kid you have a long way to go.


(Thursday. 4-22-04. Millbrae Library. 6:30pm)

---

picture from: http://www.photohome.com/photos/sunrise-sunset-pictures/colorado-tree-sunrise-2.html
(sorry owner of the picture... your picture perfectly fits in here... you can msg me if you want it to be taken out! thanks!)
-author

Happy 1st Year TO US!

---

To my daddy, sister nicole and me.

It has been a year already ever since that day. That day we left the Philippines... time flies so fast... yes... ang bilis man! I still can't believe one year na kami.... Actually 9pm tonight to be exact.

Nakakasenti magreminisce... paiyak iyak pa kaming dalwa ni nicole bago kami umalis ng bahay kasama ng mga cousins ko at mga aunties, uncles and grandparents... naiiyak tuloy ako... i swear first time kami nagiyakan sa harap ng isa't isa in my entire life... kaya nga this day should be always noticed... napaka memorable for me... kasi this date symbolized a lot of "letting go" for me.... blank ang utak ko... I want to write something pero walang lumalabas... crazy man.. anyway, gotta catch my english class...

9 Gathered Stones

---

I learned that letting go is not something you will learn until life requires you to do.

I learned that once you overcome your fear of failure, nothing will stop you from achieving what you want to do.

I learned that listening to your body's rhythm can make you more focused and more in tune when playing sports.

I learned that acceptance is not an option, it's a part of life.

I learned that crying in front of the one that I love can make me feel good about myself (even if it makes me think I am weak).

I learned that giving up erases the hope of getting something that belongs to you in the first place.

I learned that there are times that you have to stand up and fight for yourself to get what you want because you can't always depend on others.

I learned that my life is a life that is not worth living without love.

I learned that sometimes you have to stop what you are doing to appreciate what you have actually achieved.

Great America

---

I went to Great America with some of my sister's friends! Astig man! Sulit na sulit ang spring break ko mwahahaha!!!
Ang bait bait nila! Feel at home tuloy ako kaagad!
wala lang.. pix nalang tinatamad na ako magtype bye bye!!!






pasok na next week at patayan na kasi lapit na finals! oh well... actually last thursday pa akong pumunta dto e... lazy lang ako! hayun cge baboosh!!!

My LA Weekend

---

I just came from southern cali... nice weather! haaay not so cold in the daylight then producing enough cold for me to sleep peacefully at night. I was supposed to see my friend ivy shit kakabadtrip yung phone ko! It's ayt i guess! I stayed with my cousin Dindo! Finally a cousin my age! After almost a year, Someone I can relate to! SALAMAT! He just turned 21. I am like this because the oldest cousin I have here is a 13 year old spender. Man he can spend, and of course I am used to my best bud cousin kimo back home to confide in and someone to kick with!

Dindo brought me to the corner of Pico and La Breza in the heart of Los Angeles. Man was it something else! At first I saw a helicopter with a spotlight... hirit ako "tara tingnan natin aksyon yan men! hahha!" Makikichismis lang haha!! Hay naku there's this filipino trait that I have na super chismoso! Anyway after that I heard an ambulance on my left and people crowding in the road... it was near but i don't want to go near cuz I might get shot... (bka maadd ko tuloy sa list of major brushes with death! :p) Then after a couple of minutes I heard another ambulance stopping at my right near the stoplight. I said to myself "wow astig ito parang pelikula". But we just chilled outside the restaurant waiting for Dindo's friends that we were going to eat at. It was freaky in a way but in that kind of neighborhood in which a lot of African Americans are living. Which is not unusual to see that.

We ate at Rosco's Fried Chicken and Waffle. Ang tinaguriang "soul food" daw sabi ni dindo. The serving was huge not to mention the enticing waffles and the smothered chicken that makes my saliva dripping til now... it was well worth going to even if the environment is simply crazy!

There are a lot of hispanics in LA that's why most of Dindo's friends are hispanics. All I can say that Latina's are hot! mwahahah!!! Although ang alam ko lang sabihin in spanish is "Ola! (Sabay ngiti) No Ablo Espanol." (Hello! i don't know how to speak spanish.) Which can make people laugh when you say to hispanics. Hahaha! Wala lang.

After eating the plan was to go to the clubs! Ayyyyt! But we got lazy and drank at a his friend's house. We just bonded and I got tipsy. It was cool then I slept...

The next day Dindo introduced me to his GF Rhea... and cute nila pareho silang malusog.... nakakainggit nga sila e kasi ang sweet sweet nila!

By the way, I learned a new word.. my cousin pointed the plate number to me which said....

BOTTMBOY

ako naman wht does that mean kasi aliw na aliw si dindo at gf sa irritatingly purple jeep.. explain naman si dindo bringing his two hands up... sa bottom daw yung guy habang binibuhat niya yung guy! POTA! kadiri ah please lang nangdiri ako man.. mwahahahah

We went to Carlsbad nga pala... ganda nung flower garden


(lft t ryt) paulo, bea, nadine, auntie loo, danielle, ate yoli, nicole, me, marko, uncle dd

Ganda ng flowers at ang dami grabe! Eto lang mga pix kasi kulang memory namin sa digi cam nde kami nakadala ng spare memory stick


my family with baby marko! :) cute boy!


i went shopping here.... bought shoes and a bag ganda man!! anyway, this picture proves that I am not super narcissistic kasi wala ako sa picture... eheheh... that's my mom and dad. (I hope I can find a woman that I can be like this with. Someone who I can grow old with ;p)


photo op lang ito... can you believe we stopped here for 10 minutes para magpapicture lang crazy family talga kami hahahah!!!


Here's me and a lego garnett. Astig actual size daw.



Bart Live in LA (to) San Francisco!

---

I drove from Los Angeles to Frisco for the first time last sunday night. Starting from 10:30pm up to 6:30am in the morning. A total of 8 hours. All I can say is thank you for that coffee and cds that I bought which kept me wide awake in the total duration of the trip. Of course I had to conduct my 8 hour concierto cuz if i didn't I would be bored to death...(syempre ala feeling magic mic (by the way highest ko dun 98 ;p)habang natutulog ang lahat ng aking pasahero. From 2pacs to backstreet boys to linking park to nina's foolish heart... aba e bigay na bigay ako sa pagkanta mwahaha) I just had to make my driving interesting kung hindi i just might close my eyes and be in an accident which I would never want to happen. Okay naman I did not feel the peak of me being tired until I went down the car and walked outside. I looked at the sky and man it was turning blue na! astig... I slept 6:30am till 1:30pm para kumain hehehe... hay kakapagod... It was an experience doing 80 something on the freeway while my dad is asleep was something hahaha... fun fun fun... I did 90 before but napabagal ako kc 65 lang ang limit dito and malaki laki ang babayaran mo e whew!!!


Thoughts now: Sarap ng rice salamat at tapos na ang lenten season! at kumain na rin ako ng krispy kreme ;9 grabe naglalaway ako yum yum yum yum

major brushes with death.

---

I have free time till my english class starts so let me write another one because the last one really felt good writing. yum!

1) When I was being delivered from my mother's womb, my umbilical cord was rolled over in my neck. That is why they had to make a cesarean delivery to take me out of this world! The doctors discreetly said to my dad that it was a very dangerous procedure, and there might come a point in which he might choose who will live my mom or me. Thank God hindi nangyari yun... parang telenovela tuloy if that happened! syet!

2) While we were in a C-5 intersection near libis with my blockmates from DLSU, I saw a car speeding towards us at the corner of my left eye. My friend told me if I did not reacted by shouting from the top of my lungs "PUtangina, may kotse!" He wouldn't have stepped hurriedly on the brakes. I was at the back being squeezed near the window because we were 7 people in that little civic car haha!! That was really funny, but we could have all died if that car smashed the middle of our car. It's a good thing it just hit the front bumper which is totally smashed. Naayos naman although still it was really freaky because we almost died that night.

3) While I was riding the bus, a PVP liner, to go to my school in Taft (Benilde) two persons held up the bus, and one of them took out a gun pointed to everybody's head including my shook up self. They demanded our wallets, cell phones and jewelries. The other guy who did not have a gun went around collecting those. The person at my left was shocked when the guy grabbed his necklace forcefully breaking it in his neck. All the people inside the bus were quiet for a while. (probably in fear like me) I took the advantage of hiding my "lovely" 6110 (oh damn i loved that phone!) below my left knees. I put my wallet in my bag so that if he searches me he wouldn't find anything. However, when I was putting my watch (which was given by my caring mom -who still owes $700- haha) the person collecting saw me lean down. So he went towards me in an effort to pressure me in getting it in my bag again and surrendering it to him. I just sat there shouting at him doing a reflex action to show my necklace motioning for him to grab it. Then there it was, a miracle.

He stood back slowly, and his other companion with the gun shouted at him to go down already. He just stared at me and hurriedly went down out of the bus with his partner. Then while I was holding my necklace I came upon this figure, it was my pendant. It was a cross pendant from silverworks (tama bang magplug ;p). I know it signified Jesus Christ or God; consequently for me, the symbol was my savior at that time. Was it some god-fearing hold-upper who had a sudden burst of morality or was it just because they had to go down already because cops might suspect something? Do I think it just took me some luck for me to get out of that situtation? No. But it was a miracle, some sort of divine intervention.. all i can say is, it was devastating, and I hope it wouldn't happen to a person close to my heart.


Note:It's spring break next week all right!!!!
I'll be going to LA this friday afternoon. I'll be staying there till monday. Woohoo!!! Maraming salamat Lord! No classes the whole week. Rest rest rest rest rest... il probably watch a movie... er i mean movies :) haha lots of them trying to keep up... last time I watched was ELF... haha!!!

rough days... tired

---

im soooo tired... i need sleep... i need to eat.... just got off from a 2 day rough start for the week. I have been whining because I am so stressed as of right now... oh man... but the peak of it was last night... a customer, while I was working, almost punched me... and if he did that, then I know all hell will break loose. I will make sure that he will realize that what he did was the biggest mistake of his fuck*d up miserable life... I could have broken out, beat the crap out of him, and smash his skull on the floor. All my angst, my pain, and my misery came pouring down to my veins but I just had to swallow it. However, I knew it was one of those moments when I do not understand myself... it's bad, because I know it's when I am capable of killing hurting someone.

Maybe I am just saying this because I hate it when people know they are doing something wrong and then have the balls to blame somebody. Then, after that, they even have the audacity to declare their innocence. In which makes me flare up and enraged.

What's worse is when you are just doing your job, he swears at you, and trying to make you look stupid just because you were too smart for him for a scam he wanted to pull.

I know I should not be wasting my time on this but I just had to release this nagging feeling.

all the restless nights, the stress, driving for everybody, papers, problems, has taken it toll on my body... im so tired... after class... im going to sleep...

Song for the moment: "Only God can Judge me" by 2pac
Feeling: so sooo tired

---

Which poem are you? Sonnet 17 by Pablo Neruda

Aw, you're a romantic. You believe in true love and all that sort of stuff. How cute are you? To you, love is incredible and amazing. <

I do not love you as if you were the salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

-neruda

random thoughts in sentences.

---

> Mom you owe me $1000! Pay up woman! hehe... I paid for my sisters' tuition and groceries for weeks. I don't know if I wanna get the money because if I do I just might spend it. So just maybe it's better if she owes me money. hehe ;p

> Finally got the new usher confessions cd! and jayz's black album courtesy of Bro. Bayi of his religion 2PACalypse. He gave me new compilation cds too from his tight 2PAC holy music collection hahah!!!

> Troy got dished. I watched "The Apprentice", the reality TV show of Donald Trump about doing business in NYC, as it gets more and more emotional as the final episode nears. Troy's my pick! Sh*t maybe cuz im a sucker for underdogs. I was so frustrated because I really wanted that African American to be booted out of that friggin show! Kakabadtrip! Grrr!

> I never told you guys why I got free tickets to the laker game right? Well, before that I had to be a "wedding photographer" ;) Ganda daw nung pix I should be doing it daw as a job. Sabi ko nyek! (sabay napaisip ako o dba parang si rico yan as a photographer sa got 2 bliv? hahaha wala lang -bi wag kang mgasar ah! ;p- ) Anyhoo.... biglang hiniritan ako ng tickets bgla... sabi ko okay hahahha!!! Pero, in fairness, sabi nila maganda daw ang mga pix at I think I deserved it kasi lahat ng pictures ko dun pahirapan nakatago ako, nakaluhod, nakaupo, basta kung ano ano basta makuha yung magandang shot. I wanna study lang yung shadow sa mga photographs... galing kasi nung mga nakakacapture nung moment na yun... :)

> Sunday was my baboy day cuz I was resting peacefully. Catching up some sleep and nursing my colds. Okay naman ako. TuEs and WeD was very busy for me cuz after school I had to work kagad walang pahinga. 2-11pm oh well... nung kahapon naman pumunta ako sa bahay ni BayiMan, excited na nga yan darating gf niya sa apr 20... kakainggit nga e :( oh well... HEniway, pinaplano na namin punta kaming great america at kung saan saan sana nga matuloy... nagiipon nako cguro kelangan ko na yung $1000 ko nun hehe... and then I am applying for a new job... sana nga makuha ako taas ng sweldo although mejo mahirap yung work...

> I want to save up a lot of money. I want to go back to P.I. and do something like what I did on my 20th bday.. para fulfilling... hayun... after nun cguro if makuwi ako... hit the beach... wana go to bora... huuhuhhuh... swerte ng mga tao back home... summer na...